Teacher: Last night I had a dream that I ate a huge marshmallow.
Student: And what happened next?
Teacher: I woke up in the morning and found my pillow gone!!!
:mrgreen:
A girl came home from school. Her mother asked, “Dear how was your first day at school?”
And the girl replied, “First day? You mean I have to go back there tomorrow?”
:lol:
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
:mrgreen:
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!
:lol:
Q: What must you do before you get board a bus?
A: Get on it!
:mrgreen:
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: The word smiles because there is a mile between each s.
:lol:
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
:mrgreen:
Q: What is black and white, white and black, black and white?
A: A zebra caught in a revolving door!!
:lol:
Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road?
A: To show his girlfriend he had guts.
:mrgreen:
Q: What did the pig say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
A: That’s the end of me…
:lol:
Q. What happens when you throw a black cat in the red sea?
A. It gets wet.
:mrgreen:
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: Because it was not peeling well!
:lol:
Q. Why do fish swim in salt water?
A. Because pepper makes them sneeze.
:mrgreen:
Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. You’re too young to smoke
:lol:
Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine
:mrgreen:
Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: Because nobody else will do it for them.
:lol:
Q. Why did the cat cross the road?
A. To get away from the dog!
:mrgreen:
Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. To chase the cat on the other side!!!
:lol:
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud
:mrgreen:
Q: What do you get when you throw all the books in the world in the ocean?
A: A title wave
:lol:
Q: Why don’t vampires like mosquitoes?
A: Too much competition!
:mrgreen:
Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says “Spit out your gum” and the train says “Choo! Choo!”
Riddles for Kids:
1. I don’t have lungs or a chest but I need air; I am not alive, but I grow; I don’t have a mouth and I’m allergic to water. What am I ?
Answer: Fire
:lol:
2. I am found in the sea and on land but I do not walk or swim. I travel by foot but I am toeless. I’m never far from home. What am I?
Answer: A snail
:lol:
3. I run but I never walk. I have a mouth but I never talk. I have a bed but I never lie. What am I ?
Answer: A river
:lol:
4. What walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon, and 3 legs in the evening?
Answer: A man (crawls as a baby, then walks on 2 feet, then uses a cane (3 legs) as an old man.)
:lol:
5. What thing that God made sleeps with its head down?
Answer: A bat
:lol:
6. What is greater than God, more evil than the devil, poor people have it, rich people need it, and if you eat it you will die?
Answer: Nothing
:lol:
7. What is as big as an elephant but doesn’t weigh anything?
Answer: An elephant’s shadow
:lol:
8. What goes up, but never comes down?
Answer: Age
:lol:
9. What did George Washington say to his men before they got in the boat?
Answer: “Men, get in this boat!”
:lol:
10. My uncle has a sister but she is not my aunt. Who is she?
Answer: My mother
:lol:
11. What animal carries his house wherever he goes?
Answer: Turtle
:lol:
12. If you chop it, it heals at once.
Answer: Water
:lol:
13. Claps and claps, but the neighbors do not hear.
